I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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