The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize