she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
