I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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