Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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