Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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