Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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