What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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