i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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