I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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