At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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