North Korea, Best Korea!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
