I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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