I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
