I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
