And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
