i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
