The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
