areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
