Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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