i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
