Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize