I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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