1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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