Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
