Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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