why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Enjoy the penises
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
