Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize