i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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