I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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