You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
