i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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