I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
