i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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