Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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