the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
