your parents love me but you hate me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you inspire me to be a worse person
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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