I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize