bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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