I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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