Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We named our party play list daddy issues
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
