you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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