A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
