I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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