Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
