Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
a search helicopter?!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
