i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
