oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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