I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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