Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She said her name was "party"
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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