I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize