I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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