it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Its about making memories worth repressing
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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