ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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