I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
