Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are we still banned from the library?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
