when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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