so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
