I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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