one two three fourrrrnication!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
