he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
