Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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