Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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