dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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