How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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